Why Seeking Labels And Early Frame Announcements Are Indicators Of Weakness

Trying to Secure Certainty is also called Hiding Insecurity

This is related to the idea of closed and unclosed loops. It has to do with who is more comfortable with uncertainty.

The person who is less concerned about leaving the negotiation table is the one who has power.

The person most comfortable with the unknown is the one who appears more in control of the situation. The person who wants to close the loop first is the one who falls under the frame of the other one.

In sales, when an offer is made to a prospect, the first person to speak after loses. The longer the silence, the higher the tension; eventually, the silence will be broken.

When you don't break the silence, you subtly communicate that you are fine, whether or not the person buys from you. This has a more significant impact than a one-time offer only because you are confident that you don't need to create urgency to sell a product or service that does not need it.

Have you visited properties where the realtor told you there is a lot of demand for them? If she were that confident that the property would be taken off the market soon, she would not care that much about telling it to you, especially if the property itself is average. Buyers have a good idea of the property market, so this eventually looks like a desperate attempt to make a sale.

Patience rhymes with confidence.

Essentially, when you try to label an interaction with a person, it creates a higher degree of certainty because the reality is not good enough for you to be satisfied with the nature of the actual interaction.

Now you understand why guys must not lead with the "What are we?" question. It shows that they are more invested in an outcome than the girl. They enter her frame when they rely on her approval to feel more comfortable with a relationship status.

When she says, "It must happen naturally," she means that the relationship comes without friction instead of the guy trying to angle himself into one; it must happen as a byproduct of her acting the right way for it to "just be."

Guys will make the mistake of trying to "fill that gap" when there is uncertainty, especially when she pulls back. Her game-playing, or the byproduct of potentially showing too much "keenness," is her testing you to see if it is goodwill or thirst from the man.

That is why, when she pulls back, you must pull back yourself to offset the delta, which is the gap in your respective emotional charges toward one another.

When she is trying to friend-zone you, the wrong move for you to make is to fight against it. If it is a shit test, agreeing and amplifying will make her doubt that she is not fuckworthy, and you will realise that she does not know WTF she is talking about. If it is a serious frame announcement, then it is still good to agree and amplify her to gaslight her into what she construed you as. Mixed signals can work on both sides, but one is more challenging to get out of than the other:

1) Displaying disinterest in more than a platonic interaction whilst saying the opposite. It is easier to work under that setup as you can hike up from your lower baseline and come from a position of abundance.

2) Where you have shown too much interest but provide verbal reassurance that is not what she thought, leading her to friend-zoning you. Then, it is about calibrating the behaviour. It is harder to move away from that setup. You can either cut your losses short by accepting the frame earlier stated and moving onto greener pastures or keeping her on the back burner while operating with other prospects. It is about not pinning too much hope on that one.

This introduces the idea of early frame announcements in overt dating (e.g., dating apps where the purpose of meet-ups is clearly established from the start).

What is an Early Frame Announcement? It is a stated declaration of intention regarding how the interaction is supposed to go before the interaction.

What it typically shows is you are stating what you genuinely think. It makes your agenda overt, or in other words, which kills the seductive nature of a first encounter. It also precedes the overt transactional nature of whatever type of future relationship you have. It also shows outcome dependence, where you can’t deal with the uncertainty of a random encounter. You don't trust yourself to behave appropriately to entice the other party to do the same.

It also subcommunicates the opposite of what is stated on a second-order effect.

"No One Night Stands"

This typically shows that someone is fully aware of what a date can lead to. Clarifying what she states she does not want from the get-go creates the perception that she has been there before but is not there anymore (supposedly so), which makes it all the more uncouth in terms of communication.

It can also give the impression that it is a verbal buffer for something she is uncomfortable leaving to chance.

It is no coincidence that you see this with older women with less leverage for something more serious. When they were younger, they were more careless and went "with the flow". Outside of their looks, which provided them with original leverage, their attitude was a natural ripple effect of that said leverage.

Now that you see that comfort in uncertainty, whether as to the official aspect of the interaction or your true intentions, it creates that unclosed loop, which ushers tension and creates charm.

Why do women love plausible deniability? It is also an open loop. It keeps the tension ongoing.

But when you think about it, Labels and Early Frame Announcements are just plasters against the reality of a situation. Not only when you lead by closing the loop are you giving away your frame, but also for no security at all. It is a lose-lose. You can be in a marriage but have a dead bedroom; so much for an objective reality. She can cheat whilst carrying the wifey ring. You can also have a more authentic connection as part of a situationship, where you have more of a couple dynamic than the couple mentioned above.

Regardless of the situation, it is about embracing the chaos left by uncertainty. This makes you more charismatic, as you create the perception of having more control of a situation you actually don't have control of. It is the principle of letting go. It is about focusing on yourself where whatever side stuff is going in your life does not really affect you.

This is why not caring about how official the nature of the relationship is gives you more control of the situation, however counterintuitive that may look on the outside. If she acts out of pocket, you can always leave with the added silence as to why you left, creating another uncertainty loop. Acting congruently with the unclosed loop dynamic will keep her on her toes.

This is why women angle for marriage. It gives them the needed insurance, so they are more likely to act like a b*tch afterwards. Why do you think guys complain women close the poonani tap once they secure the wedding ring? They got the insurance, so they let go a bit like with a new employee being on their best behaviour before the end of the probation.

But in reality, marriage to a guy is as secure as a permanent job. In our liquid society, you can have this status buffer of employment, making it easier to get a mortgage. Still, you are just 14 days away (US) or a month away (UK) from being jobless when you are not providing enough value to your employer.

If you are lucky enough, you will get gardening leave. When you think of marriage, which is supposed to give you maximum security, the process is the same, except the exit costs are generally more painful, and the process of being out of one is longer.

When you discount all of the above, you realise that seeking labels and early frame announcements is like ultimatums; making anything overt is an admission of weakness rather than anything else.

Like boundaries, the moment you make the rules of engagement clear as a guy, you remove the dread from the onset of doing anything potentially wrong from the other parties. You are also more committed to a positive outcome than the other person. Letting people reveal themselves is a much better policy. Boundaries stop you from filtering the people acting the way they would naturally.

This is why when you don't give a sh*t about a woman, all the above is naturally discounted, and they are more into you than you are into them.