Keeping It Simple With Your Relationships

The Limits Of Advanced Game

There is a self-defeating loop to being advanced in Game.

You become good at it because you want to maximise every opportunity to the point that you can fall into the trap of thinking that it is not worth it if it is not difficult.

This is where you may validate the hurdles, the negative behaviours, and the shit thrown at you as evidence of quality as you assume that treatment is the same with you as it is with other guys.

Technically, the idea of Game where you are supposed to become the buyer of the girls through the shifting of the original seller frame to the one choosing is one where you always look to qualify to the girl, who is, in fine, the person who decides of your value, because you defer your value assessment from the challenges she throws at you.

It's like looking for universities with the strictest entry requirements to define their exclusivity and how special you are to join them.

The mistake behind this idea is that it assumes the only way to get into that university is just through the SATs. It is not. You can enter it through significant donations (sugar daddy), networks (social circle), and scholarships (Chad). SATs are just Game; they take the most time to perfect, and there are no guarantees. Ideally, you are proficient enough, but like any student applying for universities, it is a massive time drain because you have to make a lot of effort to take on enormous debts for a degree, which loses value as the years go by (like the woman).

Granted, it is a fantastic feeling of achievement, but it removes one key aspect: you decided to take the challenging route, assuming there was no easier one. Being French, my people have always preferred complicated things that could have been made more straightforward. Out of arrogance, they thought better; the idea of it being hard trumped the utility of the subject in question.

It became, as we say in French, "un enculage de mouche" (imagine having a pencil dick narrow enough to fuck a fly on the wall).

When I came to the UK, I saw a more no-nonsense approach.

How is this relevant to getting women?

The problem when you adopt such a mindset is that it can actually create this neuroticism where, even though Game teaches you to feel enough and be entitled, your behaviour and what you do comes from a mental point of origin of following a rule book; otherwise, you are screwed. You become the puppy of the woman's approval through the prism of Game. What you did resulted in a good reaction from her, forgetting about what you wanted in the process for yourself alone. You will always be looking at what you could have done to improve the situation; the level of detail of breaking down what you did will consume you to the point you will start doubting yourself, where every move has to be EV+ under the lens of the woman's response—some spiritual co-dependency which eventually makes you miss the bigger picture.

What is the forest? What is the tree?

The forest is that Advanced Game, in the recruiting phase of getting sex or getting a girlfriend, distances yourself from healthy set-ups. You did not have to qualify to be friends with the people you are friends with. You did not have a plan to do so. It happened naturally; it was an effortless flow. The natural aspect of that association made it all the more evident that it made sense. Looking at deconstructing and acting in a way that aims to manufacture desire and create attraction ex-nihilo, puts you in a situation where you always have to watch your back against any behaviours that might show the disguise you made for both you and the target—the epitome of finding a solution for the problem you created for yourself.

When it comes to a woman, pulling all the tricks in the rule book and feeling the need to do so only takes you further away from a genuine connection, outside of validating unhealthy qualifying behaviours to someone who is not sold on you because you are not really yourself. The moment you have to think twice about how to behave with a girl is when you know you operate as a con.

Tastes and colours are not standardised. Of course, you will have the legit hots and the legit nots; most individuals will fall in the middle, and tastes vary significantly within that middle. Consciously applying advanced Game or feeling the need to do so is only indirectly selecting the people who would not vibe with you for the long run. If they are not the ones you would naturally flow with, it is an overkill that she may even notice, because you have to be uber calibrated, and she will call out your insecurity in using it with her, because she will have sussed out the fraud you are. If they are not, it is a burden you inflicted on yourself to carry unnecessarily.

You decided to take the SATs when you could have bypassed the whole process with money or a network, but you just wanted to validate that you still had it using the slow pimping route. It is fun when you are in your 20s, but as you get older, it becomes cringeworthy, and the arbitrage becomes less evident. This is what the tree is.

The reality is, funnily enough, at first, the more mistakes you make and the more you get away with it, the more it shows you who vibe with you because they want to be with you, not because of your pros but despite your cons. For some girls, you won't have to do anything different from the other, and they will chase you relentlessly until you give in or block them. You don't have to work hard for a girl who is down for you; if you are stuck in the loop of Advanced Game, it will be a telltale sign of Low Self-Esteem because the thought of things being so simple is entirely foreign to you. The only low self-esteem mindset is the one you entertain to feel you do not deserve this treatment when offered. Are these girls going to be 10s? No, most likely not. 8s and above are for the community when they are not monetised anyway. So, who are you fooling, trying to game them? Especially, past a particular life stage when there is an age gap. You exchange the time, energy, and attention currency when she mainly accepts the money one before being willing to trade the other mentioned currencies.

The more you can get away with massive fuck ups, the more she allows the mistakes, the more she qualifies as the right girl for you because she gives you the benefit of the doubt.

The more you validate the hurdles she gives you through rationalisation and addressing them, the more you reinforce your insecurities that you are not enough and that they are right to treat you dismissively because you are desperate for their approval. You are worried your game is not tight enough. This is when Game made you the tool instead of being used as a tool on the margins. You can win them over, but it is a pyrrhic victory because you will feel even more vindicated in your low self-esteem being rewarded, unbeknownst to you.

It is the same principle when women reward the guys who treat them like shit. It shows a higher value to them that they want to be associated with, but it is a woman who does not understand that she holds no value outside of being some temporary, non-durable good to him. He just does not like her like that. Would he have that behaviour with every girl? No, the fact he has it with her only crystalises she does not qualify when she thinks she does because she feels by paying the price of taking his shit thanks to the benefits of the association with him he is worthy when he just tolerates her as far as she is convenient.

In the end, it is about listening to people and their actions, especially women who lack self-awareness when they are not malicious, where boredom can be exchanged for petty power games to toy with someone who had the good faith of giving her the benefit of the doubt because he is too desperate to see the good in people when interests (and their interest levels) are what defines people's behaviour beyond their consciousness levels. This is why optics matter, as they illustrate how much someone deems you worth.

This is why when you see some shit tests, remember that there is "shit" before the word "test", and she will only test you if she is not convinced about you. You may think she is right not to be convinced about you because she knows nothing about you. I initially felt that way until I saw firsthand what it was like when they assumed you were it without having to display or state it very much.

What you ought to seek with a girl is not the use of the whole toolkit of Game, which can be helpful to maximise lays on the surface, but whether she is working on a good faith basis with you. Does she give you the benefit of the doubt? Men want to give women the benefit of the doubt because that is what they want women to do to them. Still, because of the weaker nature of the sex of women, they rarely do; it is also part of their projection mechanism; the exception is when she does that, you know that you're getting her top-tier guy treatment.

It goes back to deal-making; if you want a deal to happen, you look at the pros; if you wish for an agreement not to occur, you overemphasise the cons.

Successful guys manifest more success because they work on the momentum of positive past experiences. Game aims to emulate the mindset, reframes, and mechanisms necessary to achieve these outcomes.

For the same reason, people suffering from trauma using their failures in the past as a guide to their future encounters only manifest a distrusting environment because they lead with negative experiences, which will only attract people who will resonate with it or tolerate it. It is the antithesis of Game.

In the same way, when women treat a stranger as a stranger, they only solidify the individual's original stranger status. This is a telltale sign of damaged women. When someone treats a stranger as potentially more, they only increase the reality of it happening in the future. It is believing in the positive future vibe by acting as if it is already there in the present moment.

The irony of advanced Game and when it needs to be actioned is that it entertains the second category (bad faith - “he is a stranger”) while using the first category's reasoning (good faith - “I will manifest something positive from the negative prejudice she is communicating to me” - utilising the cope “I am just a stranger to her so she can act like a bitch with me”) to complete the masquerade. The mechanisms that show you are a cool guy are only there to gaslight the mindset into believing you are one, whereas your actions show that you are not, because you must use them. The Cool Guy does not entertain bullshit because the medium is the message, and he leaves the scene when that is what he is exposed to. A maxim I took to heart when dealing with the “English enemy” was "pick your battle" after crossing enemy lines (the Channel). On a long enough timeline, the cognitive dissonance between the mechanisms and the mindset will come to light, and the mindset eventually wins. The reality check will be as brutal as the prior delusion.

The dating and relationship market fails due to the low-trust environment. Time-wasters exist. Bad-faith actors exist. It is not your burden to solve the mess, but you will do very well in screening them out whether you have the skills to turn shit into a barely eatable chocolate fudge or not. Too many people are not willing to listen and will only suffer the consequences later down the line.

However, there is an upside to learning advanced Game. It is during the challenging parts of a relationship. When you recruit, looking to use it would be misguided because you would be walking on eggshells from the jump, not even benefitting from the honeymoon phase. However, knowing the mechanisms once in a relationship will help diffuse many traps that may happen. As we say in French, "La vie n'est pas un long fleuve tranquille". Well, exchange "la vie" with "relationships", and you get the picture: it will not be a peaceful journey. Essentially, Game and relationships operate under the woman's frame, so knowing how to navigate the ups and downs because you want to have a family and keep it is crucial too, as relationships operate under the woman’s frame by nature, no matter how much you wish to self-gaslight yourself.

As with everything, it is about understanding the advantages and limits of a skillset. It is not because you have a skill that you always have to use it, and it can come to bite you in the ass if you do it non-discriminately; however, not learning it thinking you are above can also prove to be your downfall, depending on your life trajectory.