Finding Leverage When You Are Originally At A Disadvantage

Prospecting The Right Way In Sales and In Your Dating Life

When you start as a sales guy, you are essentially looking for buyers, just as when you are a guy in the dating market: you are not the one flooded with offers compared to your average woman.

You don’t have natural abundance from an objective standpoint; this explains the default needy mode of most men and salespeople.

So you need to appreciate that, when you prospect, you must use the time at your disposal as efficiently as possible. It is not about trying to convince poorly qualified or targeted individuals; it is about sorting the right persona to whom you are going to sell. The more you narrow, the more efficient you become. The more you scope out, the more you dilute your effort, attention, and energy.

Or in other words:

You can’t please everyone.
Know your market.

Time is scarce, prospects are not, and your job as a guy is to quickly determine the viability of a prospect or a girl, for that matter, and that happens with understanding and segmenting what qualifies buyers and women as fast as possible. More importantly, disqualifying buyers just as fast. It protects your energy, certainty, and emotional state, and your pipeline is filling up with ONLY viable prospects. Hope is a poison in prospecting, and the resulting neediness from doing a poor job at it will cause you to overexplain yourself. This will impact your certainty, and time spent on the wrong prospect reduces performance on the right one.

What filtering means is whether, in the case of sales, there is the ability, willingness, and authority to buy. In the case of a woman, the ability to vibe & fuck (relationships start there if you wish to go there), willingness to do so, and having the authority. In Sales, everything is pretty clear because the hierarchy defines who can sign the order form; the tricky part is understanding who has significant influence (Champion) and who doesn’t (Coach) in B2B settings. In Dating, the ability is whether she is restrained by her current circumstances or logistics (abroad for a while, not into fucked set ups with exes or situationships…). The willingness has to do with her level of interest or attraction as a baseline to entertain the dance. The authority is mostly when she has no existing emotional attachments, when she operates in the frame of someone else (not necessarily a man, sometimes family), which restrains her agency for religious or social reasons.